Sitting in front of my computers for hours, I would import all of the images and do some fabulous work with color and send them right off to Walgreens to be printed and picked up on my way into the NICU.
Here is an example of one of my favorites. Photography of premature infants are not exactly welcomed. For a Mother of a Premature Infant, it is looking beyond the tubes and seeing your heart laying in an incubator.
We tried for years to have our Son, so when I became pregnant I took about 6 different pregnancy tests just to make sure it was true. From that moment I was considered a high risk pregnancy as I had only one ovarian tube that was considered viable and close to 70% free of scar tissue. I immediately found myself at the OBGYN every month having ultra sound after ultra sound. Those images I scanned and they quickly became a part of Rowan's life story.
Prior to having Rowan, the NICU was an absolute mystery to me. I was unaware that there were actually infants struggling to survive their first moments of life. I had no prior knowledge. I guess it did not ever seem evident to me, until I left the hospital without my baby.
For the 33 days in the NICU, I was overwhelmed with a desire to bring my infant home. I really wanted to celebrate his life, and felt as though it was not a welcomed idea.
Within hours of Rowan's birth, we sent out a digital announcement and began to put his birth website together. We felt it would be a great way to communicate his progress without making so many phone calls, and having the same conversations over and over.
The website pages, I eventually copied to my computer and made them into actual pages that will be printed in his baby-life book. (I say, baby-life book, as it keeps getting bigger and bigger).
Here is an example of a NICU page that I put together.
I know how tough it is to say that you are a Mom of a Preemie. There is such a sense of failure and guilt, I know that it comes of my tongue with resistence. I have learned to just throw it out there with sometimes a surprise element in a conversation. Like, 'Oh, by the way, my son was a preemie'.
I really want Rowan to see his birth photos, and understand his struggle for life. There were moments when my husband just wanted to never look at the NICU photos again. I truly believe that I will be a better Mother knowing that the 7.5 months I carried my child, the 33 days in the NICU and the months on a monitor at home makes you think about how fragile, what a gift, and why he was given to me... every day.
